A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind

Argh!!!! My efforts to lose weight before buying a suit for Kevin’s wedding have failed. In fact, they have backfired and I have gained weight. Booooo!!! Hisssss!!! My weight gain is not a mystery — my Hand-To-Mouth disease continues (read “drinking too much beer and eating everthing in sight”) and my exercise routine hasn’t exactly been stellar. Whose fault is this? Mine, all mine. Now it is up to me to buy a suit that fits now (and will on Jan 1) and then go about changing my habits.

I’ve done the weight-loss thing before. In the early nineties I was fat (not phat, which would have been very different)! Weighing in at 245lbs while standing at a modest 5’9″ I sported a waistline of 42″ (which in those days was a high as you could be without having to move to the “Big and Tall” section.) Thanks to the constant prodding of my friend Doug (dude, I need an excuse to travel to Australia — get married already!) I started an exercise routine which would eventually remove 70lbs from my body over a two year period. For years I kept the weight off, but thanks to a knee injury suffered in my one-and-only marathon in 2000 and my love of the food and beer, part of that weight has crept back on, bringing me to my current weight of ~200lbs (still standing at 5’9″).

In an humorous side note I have heard that President Bush put on a few pounds eating too many doughnuts during his re-election campaign and is planning on shedding some weight next year. FINALLY, I have something in common with this man. Yes, Paulie is a Democrat.

So my dear friends, if you happen to see me out and about this holiday season cramming food into my face or drinking my umteenth beer (please wait until the umteenth since it’s my only remaining vice) feel free to mock me, by making pig noises and such. Go ahead, I seriously need the reminder.

What Were You Thinking Wednesday
My company is strange. We are as cheap as cheap can be, and ask for no apologies for being this way. As a nice gesture our VP decided that he wanted to buy our office a Christmas, er Holiday, gift. His stipulations were that the gift should be usable by all, and not exceed a certain amount (hell, this was coming out of his pocket so I can’t fault him). The choice? An electric massage chair. What the fuck? Sure it’s nice, but do I want to sit in a chair that everyone else has been using? And it is not an industrial strength model, so how long do you think it will take 100+ people using it every day to break it? I give the poor thing until February. Like every other gift I guess that it is the thought that counts…

Paulie [eatl/ga]

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