Inside The Perimeter

I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit! I am spinning “Christmas With The Rat Pack”, and Vince Guaraldi Trio’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas” CD’s in the car (though not at the same time because that would just be lunacy) in an attempt to get me in the spirit. But it has not been working too well since the weather forecast is for high temperatures nearing 70 degrees! You’d think after living in Florida for thirteen years I would have detached Christmas from cold, but being a New Yorker at heart I think it should be cold now, even here in Atlanta.

Nerd Alert! Nerd Alert!
Last night my trivia team and I “stormed a new castle” — Johnny’s Pizza in Inman Park. It was actually kinda fun. The format of The Trivia Factory’s game is different from that of Team Trivia’s (our normal provider trivia provider), but the change in format along with cheaper beer and the opportunity to eat pizza made the night fun. It even seemed to dull the pain of finishing second by a mere point.

Tuesday’s Toy
Today I am salivating over Delphi’s MyFi portable satellite radio. This sweet little number would give me XM’s satellite radio reception wherever the fuck I go! Although, being in the satellite television business I know that is not necessarily true. However, the downside of today’s toy is the price — $349 clams! That doesn’t even include any service, for which I’d have to pony up another $10/month. Yikes! Maybe I’ll wait until the rumored “iPod Satellite” which will combine the iPod world with the Sirius satellite radio world. Yeah, I know, it’s far too good to be true…

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

It’s official, I am now a Certified Winner!!!

Last night I was hanging out with my oldest friend, Bill. Sorry, perhaps I should phrase that, the friend who I have known the longest. Anyway, since he has been coming back to Atlanta for business we’ve getting together and lifting a few pints like we did in the old days. Last night’s bar was my personal favorite — my local bar, Gravity Pub. I’ve been frequenting Gravity since I moved to East Atlanta five plus years ago (back in the day when they had La Trappe [warning: that link currently has no english translation, although it used to] on draft). Gravity is the type of bar with which I can identify — local, independently-owned, pretty to look at? well not-so-much.

On Tuesday night Chaz Lounge recreates that American Legion Hall atmosphere by spinning the balls of a bingo cage. Used to be that you would get a bingo card with every drink purchased. Perhaps, the stigma of having a table full of cards forced them to change this policy as we all seemed to play a single card all night long. In the first game I kicked ass! Screaming BINGO for the first time ever, I walked up to claim my prize when I realized that another guy was also walking up to claim victory. Crap! You see in Chaz’s world he wants women to win at the same time, because the tie-breaker is a Hula Hoop contest. Not having hips made for this toy I conceded victory to my opponent much to the distain and ridicule of Chaz. What we also noticed at this time was that my co-winner and I shared the same number layout on our cards, so much for quality control… Being the gentleman I am, I traded mine in for a new one. Dumb move? Nope, as it turns out this was the card that would gain me the Grand Prize of the night, 3-D Jesus Clock along with the Moon Pie given to all of the night’s winners.

I love beer, which has not exactly been a blessing to my waistline. It’s not that I have a drinking problem (says me), but rather I have too many opportunities to drink!
- Sunday football watching
- Monday night team trivia
- Wednesday night running at George’s
- Thursday Survivor dinner party
- Friday happy hour
- Saturday hashing

I am missing an opportunity for Tuesday nights. Ladies, this is your chance to jump in and see if I’d be interested in a date night. I am not an alcoholic. I promise….. (personal references supplied upon request)

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]

I have written about the “vacation beard” a few times now (and if I had my shit together there would be a picture of me with it here). What’s confusing me is the mixed signals I am getting. I have been asking any woman I know who is willing to give her opinion whether or not I should keep it, and here is what I have heard most.

“It looks really good, however if you are kissing someone it will irritate her.”

Great, now what?!? Shave it off and not be able to attract women, or leave it; attract them; and not be able to kiss them? Both seem like shitty options, especially since I am not exactly sporting a GQ-quality face underneath the beard.

Btw - I am asking for input because I don’t have anyone to kiss, godammit!!! I know that you know this, and that you are most likely not interested in filling the open position — so maybe I’ll just stop asking….

Hrmph,
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Man, did I ever pick the wrong time of year to get my latest crown. My dentist warned me that I should not eat anything hard on the temporary-crown side of my mouth, until the “permanent” is installed in a few weeks. Normally, this wouldn’t be too difficult, but this being the Christmas season, nuts seem to be everywhere. It’s Christmastime, I want to eat nuts! Crazy? Sure! But for some reason Christmas equal Nut Eating Time for me. Maybe I should contact Harlan Pepper and ask him what sort of nuts I could eat without fear of breaking the temporary crown. I’m sure he would know…

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Welcome to Fantastic Friday, as is every Friday for me in December. Six years ago I started working for a company that required me to take all of my vacation in the year in which it was acquired. So, having some time to kill, I decided to take every Friday off from Thanksgiving through New Year’s. The tradition has stuck….

In order to bask in the glory of my days off, I decided I should hit it Friends‘ style and hang out in my local coffee shop. Six years ago it was called Sacred Grounds, a cool, yet not hip coffee shop in East Atlanta in which I was nearly the only person in attendance. Today, as I type this, it is called Joe’s (I’d provide a link but there seems to be none, so try this on for size) and it is jammed packed with people — three others also toting laptops. Presumably, these are the people who have moved here in recent years. It is such a shock to me that I have since forgotten the original intended theme of today’s blog. Yikes!

The coffee is starting to kick in, so put on your “Stream of Conscience” hats, children….

The attractive young lady, who is also laptop-enabled, has gone into “teacher mode” pulling out stacks of papers out of every orifice. But wait, she has now just thrown them all out, so perhaps I am wrong (or her students are in for a rude awakening.)

One of the things I like about this city is a wide and somewhat varied music scene. Last night I went to a place called the Red Light Cafe for Bluegrass Thursdays where I saw an excellent band called the Steep Canyon Rangers. I applauded them not only for their fine musicianship, but also their decision not to play what I consider to be the “Freebird” of bluegrass, “Rocky Top.” People who know me well understand my distain for this song derives from my University of Florida education, not my dislike of Hillbillies. I admit bluegrass is a new venture for me (heightened by my trip to Nashville), but I am not immune to the want of new musical avenues. For those needing a polka fix, check out Brave Combo the next time they come to town.

My “vacation beard” continues. Oddly, I had all intentions of shaving this week in anticipation of my new electric razor arriving from Amazon, but people have been complimenting on its appearance. A lesser-confident me, read “pre-rant earlier in the week” would have joked that they thought it was a good thing for me to hide my face; now I respond with a confident “Thank You.”

Now spinning in the laptop cd is “Christmas With The Rat Pack”. It’s past Thankgiving, so Bugger Off!

I wish it was raining today so that I could go see The Incredibles. I hate wasting such a nice day by going into a movie theater. I still feel like I am the last person in America to see it.

The Final Jeopardy answer is “$884.” Perhaps Ken Jennings would know that the question is “How much did my dentist trip cost me yesterday?” Seems like I would have had more joy purchasing the iPod, new suit for Kevin’s wedding, and webcam that I could have gotten for the same price.

OUT!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Today is one of those days I dread. I have finally succumbed to my dentist’s constant request for getting another crown, and today is the day. Crown number three. Now who do I have to blow in order to become a part of royalty? And me with no dental insurance (don’t ask). Ouch in the mouth; Ouch in the wallet! I better get a pretty nice Christmas card from the Ole Doc this year…

One of the few things I will fault my parents for is being too lenient in the oral hygiene department. Maybe it was because they had poor (no?) dental work in their youth (being children of The Great Depression), maybe it was because my childhood was still in some of the Dark Days of dentistry (much pain, ugly metal fillings), or maybe it was because we couldn’t afford it. I am not sure. However, this leniency combined with my bad-teeth genetics, I have had many disappointing trips to the dentist. Today’s trip is to repair some other work done nearing twenty years ago.

In preparation for today’s misery I decided to treat myself to a huge breakfast at the Waffle House. I have mentioned before my love of the diner breakfast; coffee, hashbrowns, and a greasy egg sandwich. Yummy, fucking, yummy. And because my dental work will be completed just before noon and I assume I will be unable to eat for a few hours afterwords, I ate a shitload! While I wouldn’t endure dental work everyday in order to gorge the way I did this morning, it sure made me happy.

I’ve said it before, and I shall again — from here on out I am all about make ME happy.

Oooh, and this just in…. Check out today’s Feature Article about Richard Feynman on Wikipedia. You may not know of Feynman, but if you are old enough to remember the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster, you know of his work. He was on the panel who discovered that it was the O-rings which caused the explosion.

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Welcome to What In The World Was I Thinking Wednesday. I have decided that each Wednesday I should discuss something that made me say What In The World Was I Thinking. Today’s topic: Calvin Klein Button Fly Underwear. btw - that link takes you to Macy’s where the picture is not of me (sorry ladies).

I know how I started wearing them. Back in the Go-Go Nineties (back in the day when Atlanta was giddy because The Olympics were so close we could taste it) I was dating a young lady who deemed my tighty-whities so out of fashion that a great Valentine’s Day gift would be underwear. In her defense, she was right. However, she also started me out with the button fly boxer briefs. Not to be rude, and to ensure that I was to get lucky, I declared my adoration for the new skivvies. To my credit, I was right.

Over the years I have declared boxer brief underwear to be the Greatest Thing since sliced bread. My “boys” need a house — CHECK. Flatters what God gave me in the front and rear — CHECK. Has a modicum of style when stripping off the jeans for that “first time” — CHECK. But button flies? — UNCHECK. Can I tell you how many times I fumbled with those stupid buttons while drinking in a bar? Urinal time is “eyes front and center” time, but when you see a guy standing there fumbling “down there” one conjures strange thoughts. I’m just saying. Before you tell me to stop buttoning them, let me tell you that an “open door” underwear policy will only get you in trouble. At that point you might as well be going commando.

Which brings me to the What In The World Was I Thinking part. It’s been many moons since the original purchaser and I have parted ways. Yet, I have since, and occasionally ponder the idea of purchasing button fly underwear. WHY? Can someone please explain this to me? Is there some part of me that thinks if I run into her on the street I will be able to drop my pants and say “See, still wearing the button fly boxer briefs. Want to get back together?”

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]