Inside The Perimeter

I’ve been spewing venom for far too many days. Today I will try to lighten things up a bit..

Out Of My Comfort Zone
I’m leaving work at noon today to head to Nashville today and “run” in the Country Music Marathon (I’ll be doing half) tomorrow. Yeeeee Haw!

So Kool
When I used to work on near Georgia Tech I was able to walk down to Kool Korner (the alliteration was their idea, not mine) Grocery store for this city’s best Cuban sandwich. The impending doom of the reality of my office moving to Hell, I’m sorry that’s the Perimeter Mall area for the rest of you, combined with David’s birthday wish took me back for the first time in six years. I am glad to say that the store, inside and out, as well as the food have changed little. It felt strange that so much time had past since I had gotten a sandwich there, and made me a little sad that I never put a Media4 business card on their signage.

Today’s breakfast was the remainder of my garlic plantain chips.

You Don’t Get This Shit OTP
My drive into work really inspires this space heavily.

This morning at the corner of Freedom Parkway and Moreland Avenue someone has constructed a life-size (although not very realistic) rendition of a car crashing into a light post. Too funny, unless of course there is a sad message behind it. I just hope that this is not the next phase of some makeshift memorial (I call dibs on that as my band name).

Meanwhile at the corner of North Avenue and Highland Avenue someone has been placing a daily message on one of the light posts. Today’s message? “Chimpeach” BRILLIANT!

After Mr. President ruined prime time television last night I am ready to agree.

The Winner Is….
Double, although I’ve not placed the hammock order yet. I figure that I if can convince some woman to spend a lifetime with me great, and if not I am going to see just how fat I can become. Can anyone say Homer Simpson with a mu-mu? D’Oh!

Gotta Run, Business Bekons!!! Sorry if today’s entry needs a lot of editing, no time to do it…

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - busy, busy, busy
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing R.E.M. — “Wolves, Lower”
Website Of The Day - Early Vegas (HINT HINT)

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

There Was A Day When I Was A Optimist
I’d buy two tickets for concerts, hoping I’d be able to get a date — I wouldn’t. I’d volunteer or go to wine tastings hoping to meet people — I wouldn’t. I’d join dating websites in hopes to meet the women I’d swear were perfect for me — at least I came close on this one.

There Was A Day When I Was A Pessimist
I’d realize that I’m getting no younger and certainly no better looking, and can’t figure out who would want to be with me. I’d think that my job can’t last forever, and that I better have a back-up plan. I’d look for cabins in the mountains to move to so that I can get the hell away from the rest of society.

Today I Am A Don’t-Give-A-Shitist
Popeye said it best, “I am what I am”. Do what you want, I’m only concerned about Number One. *points thumbs at own chest*

What Gives You Ask?
Believe it or not, this topic is derived from the contemplation of buying a hammock. At the Inman Park Festival last weekend I passed a booth that was selling hammocks. Not just any hammocks, packable hammocks. Cooool. If I had my head on straight I would have purchased one on the spot and been done with it, but as I am wont to do, I waited, did research, found out too much information, only to realize that I should have purchased one from the original vendor.

So here is what I found out. The company makes two versions

• “Single” — for one person
• “Double” — for two people, or one-ton-o-person

If they made a “Triple” I might buy it so that these fine ladies could make a Paulie sandwich.

But back to reality. Which to buy? Do I buy the “Double” assuming that some day in the future there will be a need to hold a companion? (optimism) Or do I buy the “Single” assuming that a Unibomber cabin is where I will wind up and I’ll only need to solo-style hammock? (pessimism) Decisions. Decisions.

It’s Off, It’s On
How short can a desire to not drink during the week last? If you are me, until Wednesday. If I hadn’t had all the pizza, beer, popcorn, and chicken fingers with fries my measly four-and-a-half mile run might have done me some good.

And Finally, A Birthday Greeting!
Today is birthday number forty-two for my friend David. Seems appropriate that he turns forty-two the day before The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy hits the theaters.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - you guessed it, I don’t give a shit
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Radiohead — “I Might Be Wrong”
Website Of The Day - Treehugger Hammocks

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

12:01am is technically the “next” day, right? Well, I couldn’t give up that easily, could I?

“I can eat today!!!” That’s the first thing that popped into my mind this morning. Sad, but true.

What’ll Ya Have, What’ll Ya Have, What’ll Ya Have?
All I could think about while driving into work was the first meal to enter my mouth in thirty-six hours. And long-term readers know of my love of the breakfast…

Ooh, Waffle House! Damn, I’m woke up too late to please myself with an order of hash browns.

Oooh, how about that new Burger King sammie? The sign at Burger King read “Try our enormous omelet sandwich”. It took what little strength my foodless body had to keep the steering wheel from turning. I am sure my arteries will thank me.

Oh, a bagel and coffee from Einstein Bros? Ok, that’s somewhat acceptable. Dammit, I’m blocked into the middle lane and can’t get over!! ARRRGH!!!

So I now sit here at work drinking mediocre coffee and have completed two packets of instant oatmeal. Satisfying? No, not really. Even worse, I have a lunch-time meeting so I can go out for lunch either. Bumma.

Up The Ass, Bob
I may have mentioned this in the past, but I love game shows. As a kid when I would stay home from school sick, the tv was turned to PBS first, game shows next. When I first got satellite tv I was glued to Game Show Network (as it was called back then) watching re-runs of the shows I watched in my youth, as well as some that were made prior to my existence.

Last night I caught myself watching “TV’s Funniest Game Show Moments #5″ hosted by Bob Eubanks and Chuck Woolery. Yeah you read that right, #5! From what I watched, it turned out that they could have named it “Stuff Taken From ‘Family Feud’ With Some Older Clips Thrown In To Break Up The ‘Family Feud’ Segments”.

Eventhough no reference was made to it, after changing the channel I found myself singing the theme song to one of my favorite game shows ever — MTV’s “Remote Control”.

Ken wasn’t like the other kids
TV mattered, nothing else did
Girls said ‘yes’, Ken said ‘no’
And now he’s got his own game show
Remote Control

Squatter’s Rights
For the first time since registering InsideThePerimeter.com domain someone has cursed me for getting there first. Today I received an email from a guy who wanted it to promote Atlanta’s Inside/Outside The Perimeter border war.

Since I have no intention giving this site up, I will give him some ad space here so you can buy his merch, and in turn advertise my website. Quality Inside The Perimeter bumperstickers, t-shirts, coffee mugs can be purchased via itpAtlanta. He’s got another site which gives kudos to the OTP life, but you know that I can’t promote that.

btw - props to the guys who got InsideThePerimeter.net before I thought about getting other Top Level Domains.

Normally, I’d give something as cool as advertising my website top honors as the Website Of The Day. However, yesterday I was sent a link sooo awesome that I cannot resist using it.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - caffeine induced headache
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Ween — “Transdermal Celebration”
Website Of The Day - Little People of America

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Fasting Times At Paulie High
Hi, my name is Paulie and I have a problem…

I am a “food and beer”-holic. Today I am trying something I have never done before, fasting. My weight is out of control (as is my lack of exercise — but that’s another episode) and I need to do something desperate to stop the trend. I know “fasting is bad”, but this is something I need to do to prove to myself that I can. I also have a goal to give up beer on weeknights. Believe it or not, that will be much harder to do.

Now if I could just keep myself out of GameStop and used cd stores…

Kid Rock Is A Punk-Assed Bitch
Last night’s final question was the birthday game — put the following four people in order from oldest to youngest

• Kid Rock
• Alanis Morissette
• Fiona Apple
• Rob Zombie

The in-team “discussion” boiled down to whether Kid Rock was older than Alanis Morrisette. Unfortunately for Meet The Hashers the vocal half of the table (who had the incorrect answer) steamrollered the not-quite-as-vocal half of the table (who had the correct answer) and we fell out of the money. I don’t like to lose and perhaps I am only imagining it, but I swear I heard someone yell “loser” at me as I walked away. It’s a game people, settle down.

May Not Be Dropping Hot, But It Certainly Drops Heavy
For the first Tuesday in some time there are a few decent releases in the cd world. Given my current state of mind I should highlight Fat Joe’s new release “All or Nothing”. I wonder if Fat Joe is fasting today.

Of the new releases, the one that catches my eye the most is Better Than Ezra’s “Before The Robots”. BTE and I go way back, more than ten years or so now. I first saw them in Huntsville, Alabama at a club called Lanny’s back in the mid-nineties. That night there were no more than fifteen of us in the club (a Wednesday if memory serves me) and I enjoyed the show so much that I bought their Swell Records release (pre-major label signing with Electra) of “Deluxe” from my used cd store of choice “back in the day”. I have followed the bands highs and more-plentiful lows ever since

I’d be remiss if I slighted the other notable releases of today such as Bruce Sprintsteen’s “Devils And Dust”, New Order’s “Waiting For The Siren’s Call”, Ben Folds‘ “Songs For Silverman” and The Eels “Blinking Lights And Other Revelations”.

What’s that you say? I overlooked Collective Soul’s “From The Ground Up”? No, I said notable releases. Oh yes I di’id!!! Sorry, I’ve never been a fan of the band that put Stockbridge, Georgia on the map.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - Fudgie The Whale (I’d link to Carvel’s website, but it sucks)
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Bright Eyes — “Lua”
Website Of The Day - Recipes from the Organic Valley Co-Op. They sound great maybe I’ll try some — tomorrow.

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Things are strange, very, very strange.

Smithers, Bring Me More Daylight

Lawmakers crafting energy legislation approved an amendment Wednesday to extend daylight-saving time by two months, having it start on the first Sunday in March and end on the last Sunday in November.

I worry when politicians believe that they have the power to fix all that is wrong with our country. Basically, this means that I worry every day. Hey Geniuses, if we are going to DST from March through November, why not just go to it completely?

While You Are At It, Can You Fix The Calendar Too?
When it is sixty-plus on New Year’s Day and thirty-two on April 25th something is wrong. For over a decade I’ve had a belief that the seasons are shifting as it seems to stay warmer later in the year and colder later in the following your. I’m no fucking Farmer’s Almanac, but I know what I see and feel.

If Spring Would Ever Arrive
I could do some spring cleaning, not to mention that I am dying to ride my bike. Dammit, I hate cold weather.

Am I A Clown? Do I Amuse You?
I’ve got to stop paying for comedy. Friday night’s Comedians Of Comedy tour was okay, but I could have seen the same shit on Comedy Central — well, with the exception of the bizarre film which was shown prior to the comedians — for free. I dunno, maybe it’s just me. At least the High Life was ice cold and dirt cheap.

I Went Undrafted Again!
I graduated from college (for the final time) in 1991; yes, I know that was eight years after I started, thankyouverymuch. For the last fourteen years I have sat by the phone on NFL draft day and waited for it to ring. Is it time for me to give up on my dreams? Oh, I never played football or anything, I just think that I have a lot to offer.

Crib Notes^(tm) For The Pothole Patrol
Apparently, something has gone amiss with this city’s ability to fix its roads. Here is a handy cheat sheet

1. Identify crater
2. Fill said crater with enough blacktop to fill crater (allow for settling)
3. Place big ol’ metal sheet over crater
4. Allow blacktop to cure
5. Remove big ol’ metal sheet
6. Check to make sure crater is filled
7. Return To Step 1

Is this really so goddam hard to remember? Oh I know, this is a new experimental “Speed Crater” program which is destined to replace the “Speed Hump” program currently in use.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - nobody knows the troubles I see
Current Music - trying to improve my outlook with some Polyphonic Spree
Website Of The Day - The Ecology Picture of the Week (stole this from USA Today)

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

My friend Bill scored another ‘Big Ups’ for his ability to get take-out chow from Panita last night. I’m not sure what I was eating (as in I couldn’t go there and order) but it was plentiful and delicious. Not only was dinner served, but the owner who is a friend of Bill’s, also threw in the largest flan I have ever seen. Play along with me, kids — it was flantastic. *groan* I will be skipping breakfast today in order to balance the caloric intake.

Unfortunately for Bill he was amongst three hashers, so while the conversation turned in every direction, it usually involved hashing or hashers. If you are not a hasher, understand that we do enough stupid things to fill an evening’s conversation with little difficulty.

The “Survivor” Diet
How is it that Katie can still be chubby after nearly thirty days of Survivor? Has she smuggled chocolate in to her camp? All of the other people who go on that show become rail thin. Damn, I’ve thought of applying for the weigh-loss benefit alone.

Busting At The Seam
Hah! You thought this was going to be about my relationship with my pants, didn’t you? Not so fast my friend, for this time I am referring to my iPod. Oh sure, 20GB seemed so large when I bought it. My music collection now stands at 22GB, and I am forced to make decisions on what I can and cannot load. No fewer than the last five cds I have purchased are not on my iPod because of a lack of space.

“You’re Fired” Times Five
Last night I wanted to line up all the remaining contestants on The Apprentice and kick their collective asses. If you are anything like me you are not about to run out and purchase a ginormous four-sided lazy susan file organizer for your desk. Look for the stock of Staples (NASDAQ: SPLS) to plunge as they are added to my Trump Index.

edit @ 10:27am: I forgot to mention how shitty the “rewards” have become on The Apprentice. Breakfast with George and Carolyn? Whoopty-Fucking-Dooo! At least they didn’t have to go meet Ishiah Thomas and the pathetic New York Knicks again…

More Celebrity News That I Don’t Care About
Apparently Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have had a falling out. Somehow the sun still manage to rise. Poor little rich girls, how will they manage.

And while I am at it, am I the only one who doesn’t want to have sex with Paris? She looks like a demented Barbie doll to me.

Hardy Har Har
Think my humor sucks? You are not alone.

I’ll be watching comedic professionals tonight at The EARL as the “Comedians Of Comedy Tour” comes to East Atlanta. Check out Patton Oswalt’s website for more info. I’ll be the guy with the beer in my hand and sauce from a Greenie Meanie Chicken sandwich on my shirt.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - Thai’erd, yelling “Go Lance” from the comfort of my office
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Oasis — “Lyla”
Website Of The Day - The Dining Philosophers Problem - for geeks and geek wannabees

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Carbobunga!
Nutritionists and Atkins’ diet followers be damned! Here is what I ate yesterday

breakfast: coffee (I like my coffee like I like my women — black, hot, and bitter)
lunch: rice with soy-sauce & sweet chili sauce
pre-dinner: beer
dinner: popcorn
dessert: pancakes with real maple syrup

Yummy! I am apparently the World’s Oldest Teenager (well, once Dick Clark dies I will be).

A Whole New Pyramid Scheme
It seems that the “experts” in the Federal Government that we pay to tell us what to eat have come up with a new Food Pyramid. I’d link to it, but it is so complex I can’t even find a reasonable image to link to. Here is the pyramid that I will probably be following for the rest of my days

Ready To Thai One On
It’s a little known fact that the Virginia-Highlands has a great Thai restaurant. Surin? Nope. Oh wait, that place on Virginia — Pad Thai? Nope. It’s called Panita Thai Kitchen. Every time my friend Bill has the “dinner crowd” over his place, he brings food in from there. It’s awesome!

I recommend PTK, with one extreme caveat. If you plan to eat at the restaurant, make no firm “after dinner plans” as the owner doesn’t pay attention to American dinner timelines and will make yours a lovely looooong stay.

Read this CitySearch user review if you don’t believe me

The greatest one-man show in Atlanta

One man. The whole restaurant is operated by one man. If you take issue with this, then you needn’t venture away from Applebee’s where the servers only have 4 tables each. Only when you have accepted the fact that, by dining at Panita, you will be subjecting yourself to the culinary vision and efforts of one single person, will you be ready for the kind of unforgettable meal that Panita can and probably will deliver. If you insist on wearing a watch to dinner, then you should probably eat at the mall. In fact, don’t eat at Panita, just send them money. Thanks.

This is the best Thai Food I have ever eaten. Period.

Speaking of Va-Hi Restaurants
Has the American Roadhouse ever been open for dinner? I swear that I used to go there at night, but recently every time I pass it, it has been closed. Am I as crazy as I feel right now?

Another Day, Another Bill
I know that it just seems like I get a bill from someone every day, but it seems like I get a bill in the mail (or email) every, single, day! This is out of hand. I supposed that I could learn to live without some of the ammenities that modern society has conditioned me to “need”, but I don’t want to… Pity me.

El Heffe
There aren’t too many people who I admire; Hugh Heffner would be one. Seriously, the man built the Playboy Empire by distributing pictures of naked women in magazines. Oh yeah, there were some articles in the magazine as well.

Now, through the miracle of technology Playboy has introduced the Killer App for the PlayStation Portable (PSP), which turns the PlayStation Portable into the PlayboyStation Portable. For a “nominal fee” you can download pics onto your PSP and take them with you where ever you go. BRILLIANT!!!!

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - f’in hungry — going to get something to eat
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing The Walkman — “The Rat”
Website Of The Day - The USDA, your tax dollars at work

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

I’m going to finish this blog entry before I pee.

I am usually a very detailed person, so the fact that I published yesterday’s blog without a website and a current mood bugged the living shit out of me. Today I swear to do better…

Franco My Dear, I Can’t Believe It!
In 1982 Julio Franco played his first Major League Baseball game; I was sixteen, one year from graduating from high school, trying to figure out how to meet high school girls. In 1984 John Franco played his first Major League Baseball game; I was eighteen, one year into my first attempt at college, trying to figure out how to meet college girls. Last night both men played in the Atlanta Braves / Houston Astros game, and I’m still trying to figure out how to meet girls. How is that possible?

btw - Matt Franco, who had a rather unspectacular career from 1995-2003 was nowhere to be found. I wish he would make a comeback because his playing years were my best “girl meeting” years.

Benny And The Jets
Figures that I was about six weeks away from applying to the Pope to regain my virginity when JPII kicked the bucket. Does anyone know if my credits transfer across Popes?

Did anyone pick Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger in their office Pope Pool? When I saw the name Joseph Ratzinger on my bracket I mistook it be tv’s Cliff Clavin, John Ratzenberger.

Speaking Of Bergers
As I travelled down Memorial Drive the other day I noticed a restaurant that was selling “hambergers.” I wonder if their version of Ronald McDonald is the Burgermeister Meisterburger from “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”? Or maybe their catch phrase should be “Would you like frys with that?”

I guess eating a hamberger is something you do after you pick your child up at the East Atlanta Day Care “One Step Foward” (read it again if you don’t get what I mean).

I really need to start budgeting time into my schedule so I can stop and take pictures of these spelling atrocities.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - b-l-a-h
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing The Futureheads — “Decent Days And Nights”
Website Of The Day - Digital Flotsam. Their current podcast is “Digital Flotsam 14 - The Barley Malt & Hops Edition”

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Back At The Mac
Perfection two weeks running? Nope, although Meet The Hashers missed by only two questions; one being a multiple choice about Chasing Amy (Ben Affleck’s and Matt Damon’s participation), and the other being a question in which I said the correct answer bought no one else bought into. First place was ours again, however. Remember kids, it’s not how you play the game, it’s whether you win or lose.

Patriot’s Day + 1
Yesterday was Patriot’s Day (which coincided with Albert Einstein’s birthday — how did I miss that?). Not being of Boston decent nor a Boston resident, it’s not high on my holiday chart.

That being said, Patriot’s Day brings two things to us every year

• an early Boston Red Sox home game
• the running of the Boston Marathon

Watching the ending of the marathon on tv this year had a little extra coolness, since I actually recognized some of the areas through which they ran. Kinda cool. History was also made as Catherine Ndereba became the first woman to win four Boston Marathons. Props!

Man Of Yellow Makes Announcement In Town Known For Green
It was a bit surreal to see a news conference from Augusta in which Lance Armstrong confirmed one of the worst kept secrets in the history of cycling. This year’s Tour de France will be the last for Lance. If you are holding stock in the popularity of cycling in America, now is the time to sell.

This announcement may mean that this week’s Tour de Georgia will be last race on American soil that Lance rides as a professional! I’ll be tuned to the Weather Channel all week in hopes that Friday is a sunny day in the mountains. If so, be forewarned that I’ll have contracted a sickness that can only be cured by riding a bike up a mountain to watch America’s Greatest Cyclist peform his magic.

The Dead Pope Causes Me To Enter Confessional
With all of the jokes about the conclave to elect a new pope being compared to Fight Club, I’ve got a confession to make… I’ve never seen Fight Club. My friend Glenn saw it on Friday, which surprised me to no end since he is the viewer of all movies, I would have assumed that he had seen it. I guess that makes me the last person over the age of twenty-one to see it. Netflix, could you give me another free “trial” membership?

Newly Released
Without a doubt I have to recommend The Flaming Lips release of “Latenight Tales” as today’s CD Release Of The Day. Ultra cool, too hip for even my cd collection The Flaming Lips are the “One Hit Wonder Band” with more than one hit. Mike, I know that this is soon to hit your collection, so if you can provide me with a thumb’s up/down, I sure would appreciate it.

Get Suggestive
Hey Kids! Inside The Perimeter, a/k/a Paulie is always looking for suggestions, kewl websites, free downloads. If you don’t feel comfortable posting a comment about, send me an email itpBlogBox @ gmail . com

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood -
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing The Avalances — “Since I Left You”
Website Of The Day - It’s Tour de Georgia Week, if you missed the link above find out more here.

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

Oye! Who schedules an interview for 8am Monday morning? It’s bad enough that I have been drunk for the last four nights, now I need to get up early and perform an interview?

I’m too tired to hate today. This will be a short entry to keep my daily readers happy, which of course makes me happy.

This Just In, The Pope Is Still Dead
I am trying to decide which version of the following joke I like better..

In St. Louis a six-year old boy and his father talk
boy: Dad, I heard that when the Pope dies the Cardinals get together to decide who should become the next Pope.
father: That’s right son, that’s the process. Does that bother you?
boy: Well, it doesn’t seem fair; shouldn’t the other baseball teams be allowed to help decide?

In Arizona a six-year old boy and his father talk
boy: Dad, I heard that when the Pope dies the Cardinals get together to decide who should become the next Pope.
father: That’s right son, that’s the process. Does that bother you?
boy: No, they can take who they want; because all the players on our football team fucking suck!

But Apparently Elvis Is Alive
Yesterday I found myself enjoying the highs and lows of Stockbridge, GA. Elvis was the hare for yesterday’s Black Sheep hash. He saw fit to take us up (and down) a mountain of rock and silt created by a rock quarry (but fuckin’ A the view from up there yesterday was spectacular) and then through a waist-deep swamp. Hashing never ceases to make me wonder about my sanity.

Does Anyone Not Like Pancakes?
I love weekend mornings — when I have the necessary ingredients for cooking. Saturday’s breakfast was a (double) fried egg sandwich. Sunday’s breakfast (alone since I skipped my running group) was a nice stack of pancakes.

Oddly, each breakfast was eaten as “necessary intake” for my standard Stone Mountain bike ride. Which, didn’t happen on either day.

My photo shoot of the abandoned school that I hashed through a few weeks ago also never happened.

But let’s not focus on the negative here. I’m alive, the sun is out, and by the time most of you read this my work day will be half over.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood - I need a day off to recover from my weekend
Current Music - Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing the Primal Scream “Swastika Eyes”
Website Of The Day - Don’t wipe your ass with this napkin collection.

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]