I Guess You Were Right

You said that I needed to swear off women before I would meet one and you appear to be right.

As I wrote about yesterday I didn’t have the greatest day on Wednesday. Hell, I even forgot to mention that I couldn’t find my Repo Man Soundtrack CD and realized that it was another of the CDs that were in my car when I got carjacked last August. 🙁 I was really in the mood to crank up Suicidal Tendencies‘ “Institutionalized” to Eleven.

I wound up taking my bike into Atlanta Cycling’s Ansley location (the Buckhead location no longer seems to exist). As is my nature I was at the shop at when it opened and was the first customer to enter upon its opening. My bike is supposed to be done by today — fingers crossed.

When Opportunity Knocks
After dropping the bike off I decided to pick up something to munch on at Publix. As the classic line goes “I was just standing there minding my own business…” when I noticed “her” standing by the deli. Any girl who can look that good and eat deli sandwiches, is okay in my book.

I have always been told that next to church, the grocery store is the best place to meet women. (Now if I could just find a grocery store that is located right next to a church…) Why shouldn’t a grocery store be a good meat market? (oooh, I must stop before I pee my pants) We all eat, right? Now I’ve seen thousands of girls I’d like to date in the grocery store, not once have I been able to get anywhere with them. Why should yesterday be any different? So I moved on.

Up and down the aisles I went, passing her “conveniently”, smiling on occassion. Nothing. Hey, give me some credit, I was trying and was smart enough to avoid the feminine (hehe the first time my fingers tried to type “feminine” they typed “famine”! Freudian slip? LOL!!!) products aisle.

Finally giving up on “meeting” “her”, mostly because I had obtained all of the items I needed, I headed toward the cashier lanes. At 10am Publix had three lanes “open”, but with the caveat that only one line had a cashier (I avoid “self check out” like the plague). But wait a minute, this time this inconvenience worked to my advantage! She too was forced to get into the same line, right behind me. Time to swing for the fences. Deli sandwich, Diet Coke, bag of potato chips, and two tubs of cottage cheese — that’s all I had to work with. Her lunch? That’s what I figured, but two tubs of cottage cheese? That was my opening. “Wow, that looks good. You must like your cottage cheese. Can you eat it alone (get it?)” Her reply? “Yes, but I prefer to eat it with others”. This was followed by a smile. Holy Shit! Who knew it was that simple to start a conversation with such a hot girl? Anyway, the conversation continued into the parking lot where I finally got the nerve to ask for her phone number — which to my astonishment I got! We’ll have to see what happens. Wish me luck.

Oh, Look At The Calendar
Have you ever heard of April Fool’s Day? SUCKER! MUUUUHAHA!!! Actually, most of my story is true up to the point of the checkout line (yes, there was a really hot girl buying what I described; no, I did not stalk her in the grocery store). Ashamed of myself? Nah, I can live with myself; hell, I am the only want who wants to….

According to eGreetings.com April is National Poetry Month. BORING!!!! More amusing however is April 25th which has been given the honor of being “National Don’t Step in Dog Poop Day”. Shit (pun completely intended), they even have a eCard for you to send! Here’s to thanking that SmellNet has never been invented!

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – childish
Current Music – Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead — “Worlds Apart” (btw – these guys are good and play Variety Playhouse tonight)
Website Of The Day – April Fools! or The Museum Of Hoaxes (a little crappy because their site is littered with ads, but a lot of funny stuff!)

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]