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“I Don’t Know Who You Are Any More!”

Published by Paulie [eatl/ga] on January 10, 2008 08:28 am under Comments Disabled, My Daily Life

I expect to hear this phrase often over the next twelve weeks. As I entered George’s after last night’s better-late-than-never run I received cheers as if I had finished high in the New Hampshire primary. It was at that time that I realized that most of you don’t know the Paulie who used to work out six days a week and had discipline when it came to eating and drinking. He’s back. I’m back.

Read Along With Me
Today’s passage from Notes To Myself.

I am convinced that this anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I “should be” and what I am. My anxiety does not come from thinking but from wanting to control it. It seems to begin whenever I smuggle an “I want to become” into my mind. It is the tension between my desire to control what I will be and the recognition that I can’t. “I will be what I will be” — where is the anxiety in that? Anxiety is the realization that I might not reach the rung on the opinion-ladder which I have just set for myself. I fear death most when I am about to exceed what others expect of me; then death threatens to cut me off from myself, because “myself” is not yet.

To all who have helped me — Thanks.

Life At 163 Beats Per Minute
The situation was out of my control — I was required to be in the meeting which kept me past the time that I could catch Marta and make it to George’s by 6pm. Undaunted I made it there by 6:30pm and headed out for what was supposed to be a four-mile run. My music of choice was the Podrunner podcast titled “Thrive” which was an hour’s worth (I didn’t hear all of it, I was not out that long) of house and trance music regulated to a rate of 163 bpm. I found that my gape matched the tempo perfectly and as I ran, what turned out to be a 4.8 mile loop, effectively.

I broke no speed records last night but that’s fine because I did it it, and I did it the best that I could.

ITP Flickr Pic
Another from Sunday’s photostroll. I started processing the shots I took Tuesday night but didn’t get through them so nothing has been uploaded yet.

Jacket And Bicycle

This was just one of those odd city-scenes that caught my eye.

Time To Give In To “The Man”?
A lot of news of concerts happening in Atlanta pleases me, and sometimes there are announcements made which really please me. The news last week that Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks are coming to play a show at the Variety Playhouse has had me going to the Variety’s website daily in an attempt to purchase a ticket for the March 26th show using their online ticket process. I prefer to use the Variety’s service because it’s cheaper than going through Ticketmaster. However, there is still no mention of the show on their site.

Yesterday I decided to try Ticketmaster to see if they have the show listed, and lo and behold tickets are already available trough them.

My dilemma is do I spend the extra few bucks to line Ticketmaster’s pockets, or do I wait and hope that Variety puts tickets up for sale soon?

And…. I wrote this portion last night. Of course when I check back this morning I see that the show is now listed on Variety’s website and that tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10am. Want to guess what I will be doing then? ;)

Better Luck When I Am Where I Belong?
I am making a return to Philips Arena tonight to watch the Thrashers take on the Florida Panthers. Tonight I will be sans camera and have my buttocks planted in the section of the arena to which I am accustomed (section 303) instead of living the high-life in some of the more expensive seats (section 112). Here’s to hoping that the game is entertaining and that the Thrashers prevail.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – whooped and that’s a good thing, at least I hope that it’s a good thing
Current Music – Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Josh Ritter — “Right Moves” (I am a late entrant to the Josh Ritter Fan Bandwagon)
Website Of The Day – I promise that this is not another of my “Oh, I’ve cut my thumb jokes”. Rules Of Thumb is an interesting collection observations and statistics. Think of it as a “Urban Dictionary for Natural Law.”
Exercise (b)Log – running, 4.8 miles
Monthly Foot Mileage – 7.8 miles
Monthly Wheel Mileage – 0 miles
Mode Of Transportation To Work – Marta
Monthly Marta Rides – 5

January Goals
1) Run no fewer than 50 miles
2) Ride Marta no fewer than sixteen times (eight round-trips)
3) Read at least one book

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]

6 Comments so far

  1. Stacy on January 10th, 2008 @ 08:59

    I just have to mention how much I am loving the excerpts from “Notes to Myself.” :-) It’s a very nice, uplifting way to start my day each day!

    Have fun at the game tonight! The “bad luck charm” (i.e.: ME!) won’t be there, so it should hopefully be a W for the good guys!

  2. Paulie [eatl/ga] on January 10th, 2008 @ 09:12

    I agree about the passages. Some of the upcoming ones are much shorter. I’ve decided that it’s easiest to take them in order. I have a suspicion that this book will be a long-term companion that I read often.

  3. Martha on January 10th, 2008 @ 13:40

    We were all VERY happy to see you last night, even if you where late and I had to run with Boner and HD.

  4. Steve on January 10th, 2008 @ 13:57

    I just wanted to chime in and say how nice it is to see “Happy Paulie” more often.

    Clear the medication is having an effect… :-)

    -FP

  5. Paulie [eatl/ga] on January 10th, 2008 @ 15:14

    The only medication I am on is beer and “change of attitude.” I am still seeking the woman who will help me clear up my acne — if you know what I mean… ;)

  6. Stacy on January 10th, 2008 @ 16:15

    Hmmm. “Clear up your acne….” I’m afraid I don’t know that euphamism. I’m assuming you don’t mean “let me borrow her ProActiv solution” though. Does that mean I’m not in touch with what the cool kids are callin’ it these days? :-D

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    259. (2009-04-17) WEYERBACHER FIRESIDE [D]
    260. (2009-01-30) SIERRA NEVADA ESB [D]
    261. (2009-01-30) YUENGLING AMBER LAGER [D]
    262. (2008-11-06) Abita Pecan Harvest [B]
    263. (2008-11-06) Fordham Copperhead Ale [B]
    264. (2008-11-06) RJ ROCKERS BALD EAGLE BRN [D]
    265. (2008-09-19) RED BRICK OCTOBERFEST [D]
    266. (2008-07-25) DUCK RABBIT AMBER [D]
    267. (2008-07-25) JEVER DARK [D]
    268. (2008-07-22) PERONI NASTRO AZURRO [D]
    269. (2008-07-22) SIERRA NEVADA SOUTHERN HM [D]
    270. (2008-07-11) ABITA JOCKAMO IPA [D]
    271. (2008-07-11) Bar Harbor Real Ale [B]
    272. (2008-07-11) REDHOOK SUN RYE [D]
    273. (2008-01-18) Barrons Black Wattle Seed [B]
    274. (2008-01-18) Darwin Flag Porter [B]
    275. (2007-08-03) LAGUNITAS SIRIUS [D]
    276. (2007-07-05) PABST BLUE RIBBON [D]
    277. (2007-06-28) Abita Amber [B]
    278. (2007-06-28) Point Amber [B]
    279. (2007-06-14) Black Dog English Amber [B]
    280. (2007-06-14) Heavy Seas Red Sky At Nig [B]
    281. (2007-06-14) SWEETWATER BLUE [D]
    282. (2007-04-12) OMMEGANG HENNEPIN SAISON [D]
    283. (2007-04-12) TERRAPIN INDIAN BROWN [D]
    284. (2007-04-12) TERRAPIN RYE SQUARED [D]
    285. (2007-03-08) GUINNESS DRAFT [D]
    286. (2007-03-08) Tommyknocker Ornery Amber [B]
    287. (2007-03-03) DOGFISH 60 MINUTE IPA [D]
    288. (2007-03-03) Firestone Double Barrel [B]
    289. (2007-01-17) BROOKLYN BROWN ALE [D]
    290. (2007-01-17) Lagunitas IPA [B]
    291. (2007-01-17) LEFT HAND SAWTOOTH ALE [D]
    292. (2007-01-11) BASS [D]
    293. (2007-01-11) Lagunitas Censored [B]
    294. (2006-08-25) Great Divide Titan IPA [B]
    295. (2006-06-26) Pete's Rally Cap [B]
    296. (2006-05-26) Dinkel Acker Dark [B]
    297. (2006-05-22) Avery IPA [B]
    298. (2006-05-22) SPATEN MAI BOCK [D]
    299. (2006-05-11) BridgePort ESB [B]
    300. (2006-05-11) DOS EQUIS AMBER [D]
    301. (2006-04-28) Tuppers Hop Pocket [B]
    302. (2006-04-27) ANCHOR STEAM [D]
    303. (2006-04-27) THOMAS HOOKER IRISH RED [D]
    304. (2006-04-24) BridgePort IPA [B]
    305. (2006-04-24) Negra Modelo [B]
    306. (2006-04-23) REDHOOK ESB [D]
    307. (2006-04-23) SWEETWATER 420 [D]
    308. (2006-04-19) BLUE MOON WHITE [D]
    309. (2006-04-19) JOHN COURAGE [D]
    310. (2006-04-19) MENDOCINO WHITE HAWK IPA [D]
    311. (2006-04-17) Abita Restoration [B]
    312. (2006-04-17) PETES WICKED [D]
    313. (2006-03-31) Left Hand Milk Stout [B]
    314. (2006-03-31) Shipyard Export [B]
    315. (2006-03-31) Stoudts Scarlet Lady [B]
    316. (2006-03-31) TERRAPIN RYE PALE ALE [D]
    317. (2006-03-30) SMITHWICK [D]
    318. (2006-03-16) ABITA PURPLE HAZE [D]
    319. (2006-03-14) Harpoon Ale [B]
    320. (2006-03-14) NEW RIVER PALE ALE [D]
    321. (2006-03-10) North Coast Red Seal [B]
    322. (2006-03-07) SAMUEL ADAMS LAGER [D]
    323. (2006-03-04) OLD SAVANNAH GHOST ALE [D]
    324. (2006-03-04) Shipyard Old Thumper [B]
    325. (2006-03-04) THOMAS CREEK RED ALE [D]

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