“I Don’t Know Who You Are Any More!”

I expect to hear this phrase often over the next twelve weeks. As I entered George’s after last night’s better-late-than-never run I received cheers as if I had finished high in the New Hampshire primary. It was at that time that I realized that most of you don’t know the Paulie who used to work out six days a week and had discipline when it came to eating and drinking. He’s back. I’m back.

Read Along With Me
Today’s passage from Notes To Myself.

I am convinced that this anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I “should be” and what I am. My anxiety does not come from thinking but from wanting to control it. It seems to begin whenever I smuggle an “I want to become” into my mind. It is the tension between my desire to control what I will be and the recognition that I can’t. “I will be what I will be” — where is the anxiety in that? Anxiety is the realization that I might not reach the rung on the opinion-ladder which I have just set for myself. I fear death most when I am about to exceed what others expect of me; then death threatens to cut me off from myself, because “myself” is not yet.

To all who have helped me — Thanks.

Life At 163 Beats Per Minute
The situation was out of my control — I was required to be in the meeting which kept me past the time that I could catch Marta and make it to George’s by 6pm. Undaunted I made it there by 6:30pm and headed out for what was supposed to be a four-mile run. My music of choice was the Podrunner podcast titled “Thrive” which was an hour’s worth (I didn’t hear all of it, I was not out that long) of house and trance music regulated to a rate of 163 bpm. I found that my gape matched the tempo perfectly and as I ran, what turned out to be a 4.8 mile loop, effectively.

I broke no speed records last night but that’s fine because I did it it, and I did it the best that I could.

ITP Flickr Pic
Another from Sunday’s photostroll. I started processing the shots I took Tuesday night but didn’t get through them so nothing has been uploaded yet.

This was just one of those odd city-scenes that caught my eye.

Time To Give In To “The Man”?
A lot of news of concerts happening in Atlanta pleases me, and sometimes there are announcements made which really please me. The news last week that Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks are coming to play a show at the Variety Playhouse has had me going to the Variety’s website daily in an attempt to purchase a ticket for the March 26th show using their online ticket process. I prefer to use the Variety’s service because it’s cheaper than going through Ticketmaster. However, there is still no mention of the show on their site.

Yesterday I decided to try Ticketmaster to see if they have the show listed, and lo and behold tickets are already available trough them.

My dilemma is do I spend the extra few bucks to line Ticketmaster’s pockets, or do I wait and hope that Variety puts tickets up for sale soon?

And…. I wrote this portion last night. Of course when I check back this morning I see that the show is now listed on Variety’s website and that tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10am. Want to guess what I will be doing then? 😉

Better Luck When I Am Where I Belong?
I am making a return to Philips Arena tonight to watch the Thrashers take on the Florida Panthers. Tonight I will be sans camera and have my buttocks planted in the section of the arena to which I am accustomed (section 303) instead of living the high-life in some of the more expensive seats (section 112). Here’s to hoping that the game is entertaining and that the Thrashers prevail.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – whooped and that’s a good thing, at least I hope that it’s a good thing
Current Music – Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Josh Ritter — “Right Moves” (I am a late entrant to the Josh Ritter Fan Bandwagon)
Website Of The Day – I promise that this is not another of my “Oh, I’ve cut my thumb jokes”. Rules Of Thumb is an interesting collection observations and statistics. Think of it as a “Urban Dictionary for Natural Law.”
Exercise (b)Log – running, 4.8 miles
Monthly Foot Mileage – 7.8 miles
Monthly Wheel Mileage – 0 miles
Mode Of Transportation To Work – Marta
Monthly Marta Rides – 5

January Goals
1) Run no fewer than 50 miles
2) Ride Marta no fewer than sixteen times (eight round-trips)
3) Read at least one book

Cheers,
Paulie [eatl/ga]