I’m Not Negative, I’m Just Less Than Zero

I don’t have much love for the world today. I’m not going to discuss details but here were some alternative titles for today

  • If I Was The Last Man On Earth I’d Be Marooned On An Island Of Lesbians
  • So This Is What It’s Like To Be Nocturnal
  • Holding Onto Happiness Is Harder Than Holding Onto Jello

I am pre-writing today’s blog because I gave up on returning to sleep after an hour and a half of lying in bed (as well as lying to myself that I was tired) and figured that by the time 8:00am rolls around I will be more than half asleep, that is if I get any sleep between now and then.

Read Along With Me
Today’s passage from Notes To Myself.

“What do I want to do in life?” “What is my purpose?” My assumption is that I have a reason for living, that my life has a direction. But maybe we are not moving in one direction any more than history is. The assumption that I am headed toward something makes me want to justify my past actions and plan out (eliminate) the future. The reason I don’t want to drive, wait in line, run errands, etc., is that in the back of my mind I believe I have a destiny and that therefore this mundane task is a wast of my time because it does not contribute to the “important work” I have to do before I die.

To all who have helped me — Thanks.

I Got A Lot Of Sleep, Just At The Wrong Times
I can blame a portion of this weekend’s abnormal sleep pattern on whatever illness I was fighting, a portion on the illness I fight constantly known as depression, and a good portion on beer.

The prose that you are currently reading was typed at 2:05am EST as I listen to an Edmonton Canada band The Wheat Pool play an amazingly sad, yet hauntingly beautiful country song called “Neil Young” through my speakers

You are just a dreamer and I am just a dream’,
Neil Young still remembers what it’s like to be 18.
And sometimes I remember,
all the reasons that we made each other scream.

I’ll probably listen to this another ten times as I write this blog only to decide that I should buy their music when I awake tomorrow.

ITP Flickr Pic
In case of fire…
In Case Of Fire
…save yourself. I’ve given up trying.

This One Went To Eleven
As scheduled I ran a whopping eleven miles this weekend — not all at once of course. I enter the second week of training having run three miles on Friday to make up for Thursday’s miss, and three and five milers as scheduled Saturday and Sunday. Today I return to “strengthening and stretching” two things I should probably do a little more often regardless.

So far I think that the training is going well. Yesterday’s five-mile affair was a little unsuccessful because it contained a few too many walking breaks and I accidentally stepped in a whopping pile of dog shit — not that a whopping pile of cat shit would have been much better mind you.

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – trying to remember what it’s like not to be able to crank up music at 2:00am because I have to worry about someone else
Current Music – The Wheat Pool — “Neil Young”
Website Of The Day – I forgot one this morning so I’ll blame it on Sleep Deprivation.
Exercise (b)Log – running, 3 miles; running, 3 miles; running/walking, 5 miles
Monthly Foot Mileage – 18.5 miles
Monthly Wheel Mileage – 0 miles
Monday Morning Weigh-In – 202.5 pounds
Mode Of Transportation To Work – My car
Monthly Marta Rides – 6

January Goals
1) Run no fewer than 50 miles
2) Ride Marta no fewer than sixteen times (eight round-trips)
3) Read at least one book

Paulie [eatl/ga]

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20 Responses to I’m Not Negative, I’m Just Less Than Zero

  1. Martha says:

    > stepped in a whopping pile of dog shit

    How did I not hear that story yesterday. I can’t stop laughing…not laughing as hard as you all when Boner farted on Reece…but I am at work!

    I woke up this morning at 3:30…I was really concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep and getting pretty pissy about it…which of course is always a great way to get back to sleep? I did manage to get back to sleep (thank Jesus) until about 6:15 which was just perfect.

    Missed you for pizza…ended up just being Scott, Harold and Me…

  2. Stacy says:

    Might I suggest getting the little 6-pack plastic containers of happiness in the variety pack? You don’t get as much at one time, but it’s much easier to hold when you have them.

  3. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    @Martha: I was the first one back in from running (because I ran the shortest route) so I was able to wash the crap off my shoe.

    I did go back to sleep at around 3:30am and woke up at 7:30am. Had I not gone back to sleep I would not be at work.

    My apologies for being flighty on dinner. As you may gather from today’s post I wound up not in the best of moods yesterday. I decided that I needed some time in the Paulie “I felt sorry for myself” Penalty Box.

    Oh, I also forgot to mention that when I went to my car someone had applied a large yellow and black “STUDENT DRIVER” magnet to it. It was the only thing that provided levity post-Boner’s fart.

    @Stacy: I would consider it if I knew to what you refer.

  4. Barb says:

    Where’s the Amazing Race update? If you haven’t watched yet, I think you will enjoy this episode.

    At least you got your running miles in, that is something to be happy about.

    Stacy – I agree with Paulie – explain further.

  5. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    I didn’t watch Amazing Race last night, I was sound asleep at the time. I had the DVR set to record, but have no idea if the football game went late, causing me to not record a portion. I’ll watch tonight and have some commentary tomorrow.

    I am pleased that I got the miles in. Yesterday’s effort could have been much better but I gave it everything that I had at the time.

  6. Barb says:

    and – I like the deal of the day on the amazon link – a Ab Rocket Abdominal trainer. Too bad I don’t have any place for that in my house.

  7. Martha says:

    No worries on dinner, I do understand. If I had known that Harold was going to order an anchovie pizza (yes, that was it, nothing else, it did not smell good) I might have bailed also.

    and I forgot to mention 5 miles is 5 miles…good for you. I find that when I run alone I’m more prone to walking than if I’m with others…

  8. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    Anchovy, yuck. How does Sidney lick him with that sort of breath?

    When I feel like I can keep up with people I will start running with the groups again. Right now I am doing “well” to plug my ears with beat-controlled music and go out on my own. My second biggest running issue (#1 was the #2) yesterday was that I forgot how hilly the Emory area is. I about killed myself going up those long inclines.

  9. Barb says:

    Football was on Fox, so Amazing Race was on time. You won’t miss the ending.

    I didn’t think anyone ever actually ordered anchovies on a pizza.

  10. Stacy says:

    Yeah, and go figure: the football on Fox actually ended on time, too. Not like on CBS when Amazing Race is always delayed. So, yes! I actually watched it, too! And I’m looking forward to your recap tomorrow, Paulie.

    Plastic cups of jello, folks. Paulie said happiness was as hard to hold as jello, but jello’s not so hard to hold when they come in those individual little plastic containers in the pre-made/pre-packaged jello snack section of the grocery store. In this scenario, if jello were happiness, it’d be in smaller portions, sure — but much easier to hold. Not such a bad trade-off, I’d say. Plus you can get the added bonus of a variety of flavors; i.e., a variety of reasons for happiness.

    I’m overthinking the jello analogy, I know. But at least I stopped before diving into the “jello molds” subsection of this comparison. 😉

    Hmmm. I’m quite fond of jello right now.

  11. Steve says:

    I think there might be a little more than sugar in Stacy’s Jello….


  12. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    I wasn’t trying to be quite that literal with my metaphor. 🙂

  13. Stacy says:

    Oh wow, FP. Now you REALLY took my Jello Is Happiness metaphor to another level. Yum!

    And, yup, Paulie. That’s whatcha get for letting just anyone read and respond to your blog.

  14. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    Bring it on, I encourage participation here.

  15. Stacy says:

    You may feel differently when everyone starts giving you jello.

    A friend of mine long time ago mentioned once that he wanted a spoon – as in a girlfriend; a girl he could “spoon” with. Friends from around the country mailed him spoons.

    I volunteer now to bring Jello of Happiness to your Super Bowl party. Yes, THE jello of happiness. 🙂

  16. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    Bring Jello to the Super Bowl party and I will demonstrate just how hard it is to hold it.

    I will assume you will be bringing lemon and lime Jello? 😉

  17. Stacy says:

    From your mouth to God’s ears, yes!!

  18. Steve says:

    Glad I could be of service.. (no offense, Barb)


  19. Barb says:

    FP – you make me laugh.

    hey Paulie – I just noticed the monday morning weigh in was 3.5 lbs less than last week. That is another thing to be happy about. Go have some jello & be happy.

  20. Paulie [eatl/ga] says:

    Yeah, the fourth “alternate title” for today was going to be “It’s Official: I’m A Loser” and then mention that I’ve dropped some weight this week.

    I don’t feel any lighter and since today’s topic is how horrible my life is I thought that I’d slip the weight in and see if anyone would notice.

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