I have a habit of not spending all two days at the Lake Hartwell campout. Over the years there have been various reasons — weather, bad attitude, whatever. This time work was the culprit.
Friday Night Asshattery
I had to work late(r) on Friday so I wasn’t able to make it up to the campout until it was past 8:30pm. By the time I had arrived all of the good parking had been taken an it was dark so I decided that I wasn’t going to put up a tent. After nearly getting my car stuck while attempting a three-point turn in the dirt roadway I decided that I was going to park and then start drinking. I was one of the last people standing on Friday night and after consuming three types of beer and a few sips of moonshine I found an open couch and passed out.
Saturday Was A Hashing Day (For Some)
Blackjack is doing a great job riding on top of the Jackmobile. I’m doing a lousy job of riding it.
I awoke on Saturday morning with a massive headache. I was feeling horrible. Lack of food while drinking was not the issue since I had eaten dinner at Zaxby’s on my way up to Lake Hartwell, but for some reason (I’ll blame the moonshine) I struggled to get off the couch. I missed breakfast. I missed the 10am bike ride that everyone else did. I missed lunch — well, I just ate a pre-made sandwich later than most.
As the hashers rode off to the start I finally got off the couch and helped make some salsa for later in the evening. Some time in the afternoon I was okay “enough” to get up and hang with those who vowed to “Never leave camp.” Around 4:30pm I started cooking my grits cakes assuming that I’d have “plenty of time to finish before dinner.” Interrupted only long enough to get called out to sit on the ice and pontificate about being left behind two years ago, I cooked non-stop with help from ITP-Reader Michelle. By 7:15pm (ish) I gave up on cooking my grits cakes in order to serve what had been completed by then. And by then the hash had done a very long circle and completed a shooting-star shot hash, was druuuuunk.
Gentrifuckation and I served up food to the masses and all was consumed in a short time. By that time I’d had my first couple of beers in me, but for obvious reasons drinking wasn’t a high-priority item on my list. I did the best I could to be social, but really wasn’t feeling it. The evening had a strange feel to it — more drama than I recall seeing at most hash campouts, and was surprised to see old-time-and-hardly-seen-these-days-hasher Deliveries In The Rear who showed up with Show Uranus after they’d gone to the Clemson game. I crashed about 11:00pm, this time on a partially-inflated air mattress in the house.
Sunday Worky Sunday
I woke around 7:30am on Sunday morning — feeling much better than I did the previous day. I contemplated doing a bike ride with ITP-Reader Harold, but I’d committed to coming into work and decided that going out for a two-hour (plus) bike ride was not the best thing for me to do. I sat around camp until breakfast was served, before making the drive from Lake Hartwell to the office, where I was able to grab my first shower of the weekend before starting to write code.
RealiTV Update : The Amazing Race Is Back
And I’m already calling SHENANIGANS!!!
Oh, expect the spoilers.
I showed up at ITP-Reader Stacy’s apartment last night, bottle of pinot noir in hand, and found out that she lives across the hall from Nancy (known to most as “Easy Cheeks”). I found out because both doors were open and inside Nancy’s apartment were ITP-Readers Harold and Jill, who were picking up the dog(s) that Nancy was dog-sitting. Anyway, about the show…
First episode — too many teams to name — stereotypes abound — leaving from Los Angeles — new show twist the “Hazard” — Game On!
There was a group of six assembled and as the show was about to start we were reminded that when the show is showing there shall be no talking; well, that unfortunately didn’t happen. If I were to provide a proper recap I’d have to magically watch the recording that I forgot to record last night. Anyway, before the episode started I chose the old people to be eliminated and Stacy picked the Las Vegas dancers.
From Los Angeles the teams had to find an umbrella which would help them figure out to where they were flying. Once you found an umbrella the teams got into a [INSERT SPONSOR HERE] vehicle and drive themselves to LAX.
I believe it was just last week that ITP-Reader Terri mentioned how she couldn’t believe that people lost their passports during The Amazing Race. foreshadowing.
And then one of the “people don’t think we’re smart because we have big tits” Las Vegas dancers (will have to come up with a better team name than that) AND THEN ONE OF THOSE DUMB BROADS DROPS HER PASSPORT AT THE GAS STATION. Seriously? Even worse, someone tweets about finding the passport and takes it to LAX where it is delivered on time so that they are not immediately eliminated? SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!! The dudes that “returned” the passport should have purchased tickets to Taiwan and forced a little Mile High action as compensation for their good deed.
Once all teams arrived in Taiwan they had to determine that their next clue was on a electric billboard in Taipei. This turns out to be the comic relief for the night as most teams wandered past the billboard befuddled (can’t say I blame them on this one as there was no The Amazing Race flag identifying the clue. The billboard instructed them to go to a Confucius temple and
open fortune cookies until they found the right one listen to a pay phone (a pay phone???) and repeat the long “Confucius Says” Quote of the Day to a monk. Many teams struggled, while my grandparent team wandered around Taipei — oh, looks like I picked a winner in those two!!!
Once the teams got the right quote they boarded some boat, one team member rowing, one team member banging the drum slowly. Boooooring.
And then it was off to the pitstop. As teams arrived my pick of Team AARP was looking fantastic. I was exercising my extreme flexibility by patting myself on the back. Team AARP stepped onto the mat and just as I started to celebrate I heard Phil tell them that this, the very first leg of the race, was a non-elimination leg. WHAT??? THE??? FUCK??? SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!!
Next week the shenanigans come in the form of a 4:00pm Eastern Packers football game on CBS which is sure to go long pushing The Amazing Race back. Oh, and I’ll be at the Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks show at Variety Playhouse so I may not have a recap by Monday morning.
Stats & Goals
Current Mood – okay, but frantic to get things done
Current Music – listening to the Coverville “Nirvana Cover Story II” podcast
Website Of The Day – Can’t get enough of recaps of The Amazing Race? Go to Hit Fix and read theirs — guaranteed not to be nearly as funny as mine though. 😉
Mode Of Transportation To Work – my car
Exercise (b)Log – nothing
Morning Weigh-In – going to skip this week, you’ll find out why on Wednesday
Foot Mileage – 0.0 miles
Wheel Mileage – 135.5 miles
Pushups – 0
Situps – 0
Stairs – 35 flights
Consecutive Days Of Bed-Making (Longest Streak) – 0 (0)
Vegetarian Days – 1
Carnivorous Days – 24
Marta Rides To Work – 0
Bike Rides To Work – 0
– “Completely” recover from the bike crash
– Ride my bike no fewer than 150 miles
– Not to get sick for the entire month
– Not get fired from my job
– Run at least twice
– Eat vegetarian no fewer than five days
– Lose three pounds
2011 Goals [will be a little more fluid than in past years]
– Reduce my weight by 25 pounds based on the my weight as measured on February 1st
Completely read the book Daily Negations which I received as a Christmas gift.
– Run Sharpened Stone as a real business — one which does not get penalized.
– Save $500 for the sole purpose of donating to charitable organizations of my choice
– Attend at least one professional photography workshop
– Enter no fewer than three photographic competitions / gallery showings
Ride in no fewer than five 50 mile or 50K bike rides
– Run in no fewer than
two one half-marathon
– Submit at least one application under the name “Sharpened Stone” to Apple’s iOS store
– Continue backing up all data, including the off-site storage
– Become a proficient programmer in Objective-C
– Do not create a solution for something which is not a problem
– Eat smaller portions