Another (Shortened) Hartwell Campout Is In the Books

I have a habit of not spending all two days at the Lake Hartwell campout. Over the years there have been various reasons — weather, bad attitude, whatever. This time work was the culprit.

Friday Night Asshattery
I had to work late(r) on Friday so I wasn’t able to make it up to the campout until it was past 8:30pm. By the time I had arrived all of the good parking had been taken an it was dark so I decided that I wasn’t going to put up a tent. After nearly getting my car stuck while attempting a three-point turn in the dirt roadway I decided that I was going to park and then start drinking. I was one of the last people standing on Friday night and after consuming three types of beer and a few sips of moonshine I found an open couch and passed out.

Saturday Was A Hashing Day (For Some)
Blackjack is doing a great job riding on top of the Jackmobile. I’m doing a lousy job of riding it.

I awoke on Saturday morning with a massive headache. I was feeling horrible. Lack of food while drinking was not the issue since I had eaten dinner at Zaxby’s on my way up to Lake Hartwell, but for some reason (I’ll blame the moonshine) I struggled to get off the couch. I missed breakfast. I missed the 10am bike ride that everyone else did. I missed lunch — well, I just ate a pre-made sandwich later than most.

As the hashers rode off to the start I finally got off the couch and helped make some salsa for later in the evening. Some time in the afternoon I was okay “enough” to get up and hang with those who vowed to “Never leave camp.” Around 4:30pm I started cooking my grits cakes assuming that I’d have “plenty of time to finish before dinner.” Interrupted only long enough to get called out to sit on the ice and pontificate about being left behind two years ago, I cooked non-stop with help from ITP-Reader Michelle. By 7:15pm (ish) I gave up on cooking my grits cakes in order to serve what had been completed by then. And by then the hash had done a very long circle and completed a shooting-star shot hash, was druuuuunk.

Gentrifuckation and I served up food to the masses and all was consumed in a short time. By that time I’d had my first couple of beers in me, but for obvious reasons drinking wasn’t a high-priority item on my list. I did the best I could to be social, but really wasn’t feeling it. The evening had a strange feel to it — more drama than I recall seeing at most hash campouts, and was surprised to see old-time-and-hardly-seen-these-days-hasher Deliveries In The Rear who showed up with Show Uranus after they’d gone to the Clemson game. I crashed about 11:00pm, this time on a partially-inflated air mattress in the house.

Sunday Worky Sunday
I woke around 7:30am on Sunday morning — feeling much better than I did the previous day. I contemplated doing a bike ride with ITP-Reader Harold, but I’d committed to coming into work and decided that going out for a two-hour (plus) bike ride was not the best thing for me to do. I sat around camp until breakfast was served, before making the drive from Lake Hartwell to the office, where I was able to grab my first shower of the weekend before starting to write code.

RealiTV Update : The Amazing Race Is Back
And I’m already calling SHENANIGANS!!!

Oh, expect the spoilers.

I showed up at ITP-Reader Stacy’s apartment last night, bottle of pinot noir in hand, and found out that she lives across the hall from Nancy (known to most as “Easy Cheeks”). I found out because both doors were open and inside Nancy’s apartment were ITP-Readers Harold and Jill, who were picking up the dog(s) that Nancy was dog-sitting. Anyway, about the show…

First episode — too many teams to name — stereotypes abound — leaving from Los Angeles — new show twist the “Hazard” — Game On!

There was a group of six assembled and as the show was about to start we were reminded that when the show is showing there shall be no talking; well, that unfortunately didn’t happen. If I were to provide a proper recap I’d have to magically watch the recording that I forgot to record last night. Anyway, before the episode started I chose the old people to be eliminated and Stacy picked the Las Vegas dancers.

From Los Angeles the teams had to find an umbrella which would help them figure out to where they were flying. Once you found an umbrella the teams got into a [INSERT SPONSOR HERE] vehicle and drive themselves to LAX.

I believe it was just last week that ITP-Reader Terri mentioned how she couldn’t believe that people lost their passports during The Amazing Race. foreshadowing.

And then one of the “people don’t think we’re smart because we have big tits” Las Vegas dancers (will have to come up with a better team name than that) AND THEN ONE OF THOSE DUMB BROADS DROPS HER PASSPORT AT THE GAS STATION. Seriously? Even worse, someone tweets about finding the passport and takes it to LAX where it is delivered on time so that they are not immediately eliminated? SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!! The dudes that “returned” the passport should have purchased tickets to Taiwan and forced a little Mile High action as compensation for their good deed.

Once all teams arrived in Taiwan they had to determine that their next clue was on a electric billboard in Taipei. This turns out to be the comic relief for the night as most teams wandered past the billboard befuddled (can’t say I blame them on this one as there was no The Amazing Race flag identifying the clue. The billboard instructed them to go to a Confucius temple and open fortune cookies until they found the right one listen to a pay phone (a pay phone???) and repeat the long “Confucius Says” Quote of the Day to a monk. Many teams struggled, while my grandparent team wandered around Taipei — oh, looks like I picked a winner in those two!!!

Once the teams got the right quote they boarded some boat, one team member rowing, one team member banging the drum slowly. Boooooring.

And then it was off to the pitstop. As teams arrived my pick of Team AARP was looking fantastic. I was exercising my extreme flexibility by patting myself on the back. Team AARP stepped onto the mat and just as I started to celebrate I heard Phil tell them that this, the very first leg of the race, was a non-elimination leg. WHAT??? THE??? FUCK??? SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!!

Next week the shenanigans come in the form of a 4:00pm Eastern Packers football game on CBS which is sure to go long pushing The Amazing Race back. Oh, and I’ll be at the Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks show at Variety Playhouse so I may not have a recap by Monday morning.

Stats & Goals
Current Mood – okay, but frantic to get things done
Current Music – listening to the Coverville “Nirvana Cover Story II” podcast
Website Of The Day – Can’t get enough of recaps of The Amazing Race? Go to Hit Fix and read theirs — guaranteed not to be nearly as funny as mine though. 😉
Mode Of Transportation To Work – my car
Exercise (b)Log – nothing
Morning Weigh-In – going to skip this week, you’ll find out why on Wednesday

Foot Mileage – 0.0 miles
Wheel Mileage – 135.5 miles
Pushups – 0
Situps – 0
Stairs – 35 flights

Consecutive Days Of Bed-Making (Longest Streak) – 0 (0)

Vegetarian Days – 1
Carnivorous Days – 24
Marta Rides To Work – 0
Bike Rides To Work – 0

September Goals
– “Completely” recover from the bike crash
– Ride my bike no fewer than 150 miles
– Not to get sick for the entire month
– Not get fired from my job
– Run at least twice
– Eat vegetarian no fewer than five days
– Lose three pounds

2011 Goals [will be a little more fluid than in past years]
– Reduce my weight by 25 pounds based on the my weight as measured on February 1st
Completely read the book Daily Negations which I received as a Christmas gift.
– Run Sharpened Stone as a real business — one which does not get penalized.
– Save $500 for the sole purpose of donating to charitable organizations of my choice
– Attend at least one professional photography workshop
– Enter no fewer than three photographic competitions / gallery showings
Ride in no fewer than five 50 mile or 50K bike rides
– Run in no fewer than two one half-marathon
– Submit at least one application under the name “Sharpened Stone” to Apple’s iOS store

The Unmeasurable
– Continue backing up all data, including the off-site storage
– Become a proficient programmer in Objective-C
– Do not create a solution for something which is not a problem
– Eat smaller portions

Paulie [eatl/ga]

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20 Responses to Another (Shortened) Hartwell Campout Is In the Books

  1. Stacy Fox says:

    OMG! Do you know what I got out of all of that?
    You wouldn’t tease a girl, would you?

  2. Wait a minute, that’s all you got out of that? 🙁

    According to Channel 46’s schedule for next Sunday their 4:00PM Eastern game is Broncos at Packers (that may be subject to change of course).

  3. Randy says:

    Of course that wasn’t all we got out of it, but like Stacy, I’m happy – with any luck, winning the Super Bowl will give Packers fans more chances to see them on “regular” TV this year.

    At least it wasn’t raining at Hartwell…

  4. The weather in Hartwell was perfect (especially for bike riding), I only wish that I hadn’t missed half of Saturday by being on a couch.

  5. Martha says:

    Well I spent all of Saturday in my office, so half a day on the couch sounds nice.

    RE: football, Payton is out for the season so I guess I won’t be hearing much about the Colts. Shame…

    We finally made it to Tomatillos, Sunday after my run, it was okay. That was after a 15 mile run, I’m not sure I would have liked it as much if I had not been starving. I had the pulled pork buritto, Jerry the Mesa bowl with steak. The pork was good, but the rest was pretty so-so, I think I perfer Willy’s.

  6. Barb says:

    wow – it is after noon, I hate when I’m this busy.

    I’ll have to get Michelle to give me more details on the weekend – drama at Lake Hartwell? That never happens……… hahahahaha

    We managed to get a mtn bike ride in Saturday, and a 20 mile road ride Sunday morning, before Allan & I barely survived Six Flags. I’m not sure how our bodies change as we get older to not like roller coasters, but we were both about sick & had headaches after a few. But – it was very fun, but glad we had free passes (& wish we had the flash pass to jump to the head of the line, but that costs $52 for 2 people – CRAZY). There was some great poeple watching, I found out the tshirts that are popular these days are Hollister & Aeropostal, and I guess those are mall stores?

    I just don’t know who I’m picking to win Amazing Race yet…..

  7. Martha says:

    More shocking, there is no way I could have been involved with the drama at Hartwell.

    I did hear there was a visit to the ER, I was glad to hear it wasn’t you Paulie.

  8. It was not me with the drama nor the emergency room. The latter was Always C*ms First, who slipped on a river bank and had a sharp tree stump lacerate his leg, requiring fourteen stitches.

    I won’t comment on the drama, but certain parties can give you all details.

    I haven’t been on a roller coaster in years. I hope that I still enjoy them if I get the chance to ride them again.

    I’ve still only been to Tomatillos once. It was okay, but not memorable. I’ll go back, mostly as a matter of convenience.

    Having Kerry Collins (especially an aged Kerry Collins) does not bode well for your football team.

  9. Stacy CNips Fox says:

    Oh no – I got much more out of it, Paulie! I just had to admit it threw me all distracted-like is all.

    I, too, did not like the fact that the first leg was non-elim (well, but for the fact that I don’t have Sesame Street on my iPod, that is).* But I think the whole passport thing is a joke — I call foul! First of all, like we were all saying, I can’t see how the cameramen / producers would purposely let strangers pick up someone’s passport like that. Um… identity theft out there much? My guess is it was more that they told them to take it and to tweet it to cause buzz so people would tweet #Amazing Race more or whatever in the future. Obviously these kids were hanging around to see if more Racers would show up after the first team they saw (surely they would have been done filling up by time Team Boobs – I’m gonna call ’em that until you dub ’em – arrived). My guess is they hung out and the producers suggested they pick it up and do that. Maybe even gave ’em a ride to LAX after. Ridiculously contrived.

    Of course, it’s SO unfair to mention Hartwell drama and not tell us more! 😉 But I get it: I wouldn’t either. What happens at camp stays at camp….

  10. Jenka says:

    Thank you for warning about the spoilers! We taped The Amazing Race but haven’t watched it yet. All the new shows started this past week so our DVR is FULL!

  11. Terri (SW) says:

    Sorry I missed AR at Stacy’s…next time, for sure. I will be flying in from Cali next week, so it looks like I won’t be able to make it until after IAH. I call BS on the passport and on the “non-elimination” first leg. Pfft!!!

    re: Hartwell- About Shooting Star, as I know there were some folks loudly whining and others loudly besmirching my name:
    1. Psychedelic and I could not make it to Hartwell on Friday night…we’re just too darn busy. We even considered not going…but the lure of Hartwell is too much to resist.

    2. We’ve been asked to do Shooting Star for the past three years. It is not our hash nor did we step in and take it over. It really doesn’t matter to us one way or the other if someone else wants to do it. If we can make it on Friday, we’ll do it Friday. If folks have a problem with it being pre-dinner on Saturday, someone else can do it after dinner.

    3. We chose to do it post-down-downs and pre-dinner because A) there was no way in hell we were going to wrangle 60 people to do it after dinner B) there is usually downtime after the hash and before dinner, so that would fill the gap and C) it would keep people out of the way of the kitchen folks while they did their thing. I’ll admit that it was short-sighted on our part not to include the cooks, but there were shots leftover if folks really wanted it. And frankly, it is worth getting upset about? Really?

    4. People got drunk. Some people did not. I only did a couple of the shots and then drank water until dinner came out. Psychedelic didn’t have any. And we had tons of shots leftover, so if anyone really wanted one after the SSH, it wasn’t like they weren’t available. I had to throw out around two pints. Anyway- even though some hashers don’t act like it (i.e. usually those who manufacture drama), they are adults and can make their own decisions (some of which are bad ones). At least it was quiet earlier than usual because most folks passed out before midnight anyway.

    5. Good thing was most people had a lot of fun and let the negative vibe merchants stew. However, we left earlier than usual on Sunday because we got tired of the bitching (in our general vicinity and never to us directly).

    I know there was other drama, and I won’t address it as it doesn’t pertain to me. However, this does. And those who were crabbing about it would never, ever say a word to me in person…

  12. Stacy CNips Fox says:

    * = the iPod game is back on! ITP-reader Terri, if you want back in, let’s do it! 🙂 We don’t have to get together each week to play; we’ll just make our picks before the show.

  13. Terri (SW) says:

    @ Stacy- I’m in! Send picks via Facebook or on here? I can’t remember…

  14. Jenka, I will always include a spoiler alert because that’s the kind of nice guy I am. 🙂

    Just so you know Terri I wasn’t placing the blame on the Shooting Star hash for people being drunk — that really long circle had a lot to do with it. And if people think that having Shooting Star after circle but before dinner is a bad idea then they don’t have to partake. Very simple solution.

    When I arrived on Friday night I was bummed because I saw flour on the ground and thought that I’d missed Shooting Star. However my escapades on Friday night convinced me that partaking in Shooting Star on Saturday night was definitely not going to happen for me. I can’t repeat mornings like Saturday’s again in a long while.

    I’ll be at Variety next Sunday night and in Savannah the following Sunday, so I say we all convene the Sunday following that. 🙂

  15. Stacy CNips Fox says:

    I’m not sure how often Paulie’s on Facebook, but we all seem to come here…so I suggest we make the picks here — that is, if Paulie doesn’t mind us spamming up his blog a bit once a week. *grin*

    The following Sunday I’ll be headed back from Helen – Oktoberfest, baby!! Though I’d like to say yes now, I’m gonna have to be a definite maybe, depending on when we get back. I could always come directly to one of y’alls – I just can’t host, just in case. 🙁 After that, I’m totally free the next couple of weeks!

  16. Terri (SW) says:

    I’m sorry if you thought I was referring to you, Paulie…I figured you were in no shape for shots on Saturday <:-)!

  17. Steve says:

    (apologies to those that got my Where’s the blog message.. my browser POS wasn’t updating)

    While I think it’s completely possible for air headed travellers to drop their passport, I figure a producer was there to “grease the skid$” a bit and make it happen like they showed. Your idea of a complete setup is also highly likely.
    I’ll be interested to see just how far off the back that last couple is… I think, unless there is a complete meltdown by another team, their days are numbered.

    Except for walking around Poplar Farms for a bit watching my trainer compete in the cross country leg of a 3-day, walking a collic-ee pony Saturday evening, and walking around cleaning up after the chili cookoff at StMtn, there was no exercise for me this weekend.


  18. I’m not on The Facebook much these days and am seriously considering killing my account; that would have already happened if not for the fact that it’s my only line of communication with some people. I’m perfectly alright with spamming up my comments. 😉

    All is pretty okay in my world, though I’ll be working late tonight, getting some things together for this week, and have to catch up on my bill paying / paperwork organization very soon before something financially bad happens.

    The next two-plus weeks of my life are going to be hectic — and I’m not even helping with IAH in Savannah!

  19. Stacy CNips Fox says:

    Not even helping? Oh come on. After what I read here, I know you want to help with the Shooting Star Hash! 😉

  20. Barb says:

    Terri – you give them all hell if they say anything – as with most hash stuff, the people that bitch are the ones that never want to be in charge of anything.
    If people get drink – oh well- they are adults, they know what they are drinking will make them drunk!

    and – I’m a hare at IAH and we are so not ready (dont’ tell the people in charge that). But – we can throw together the Wheelhopper, and it will be a great trail.

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