Which is to say not a whole lot of breakthroughs going on here. In a more positive note, my request for travel on Friday did not get approved in time so it was automatically canceled. Instead of flying to and from Denver this week I’ll be spending shitloads of hours in the office. Today I brought in my sleeping bag. I will have a working app by next week so that I can spend oodles of time celebrating with ITP-Readers Lisa and Randy when they come in to town next week, as well as ITP-Reader Betsy’s birthday BetsyFest which begins this Friday.
Note to Betsy: I will be in town for Top Chef. I have a meeting which will last until 7:00pm. I could crockpot something for Top Chef dinner, or we could get takeout this week. Regardless, let’s wish for only “scattered” showers so that a quality satellite signal can be acquired. Note to Self: Fix your goddamn satellite setup, it’s your business!
RealiTV Update: The Amazing Race — Sew, Sew, Sew Your Boat
I should have written this update whilst watching the show (and not watching the Jets play poorly agains New England as I predicted). This week’s update will be abbreviated and full of false facts….
Teams finally got out of Africa and flew to Denmark. Our remaining “local” team, Team Super Bowl Shuffle, somehow fumbled yet another The Amazing Race concept by “assuming that all of the teams will wait for the next day’s flight” when in fact all of the other teams got the hell out of Africa as soon as they could. I’m guessing that Marcus wasn’t a Rhodes Scholar. This blunder should have eliminated them immediately, but as we find out the racers have to drive themselves around a foreign country for the first time (?) this season — which always makes for great television!
The only other team playing on Team Super Bowl Shuffle’s level is Team I’m Sorry, Who Are You? who’ve miraculously come in next-to-last many times. But, you know what they say “Next to last is last non-eliminated, when there is an elimination of course.” Oye! Sign me up for the Divorce Pool if these two ever tie the knot.
In Denmark we see silly dancing in period costume as a Roadblock. Team AARP has the distinct advantage here because as we find out, this is the same sort of dancing they did at their wedding in the 1800s. Team AARP seems to be catching many breaks these days.
From the Dance Hall Days Roadblock to this episode’s Detour, and, foreshadowing, Double-Dutch U-Turn! Here we find the Danes to be in love with butter churning and bunny hopping, oddly neither of these required more dancing. If only some of these racers were farmers… I was a bit uneasy watching some of the racers “churn their butter” as it reminded me of those Public Health films they showed boys in Catholic school. “Churn your butter and you’ll go blind!” Sister Flower Power (it was the early 1970s) would warn us. After watching butter churning I was relieved to find out that bunny hopping did not also require the racers to fuck like rabbits.
From the Detour teams had to run to a windmill, which appeared to have seen better days, where the Double-Dutch U-Turn awaited them. Oooh, look at the 21st Century technology juxtaposed against the 15th Century technology. Well played, CBS! Nothing brings out the evil in people like a Double-Dutch U-Turn! Team B-Average Joe, comfortably in the lead because “Joe” is a great fancy-pants dancer and churns his butter well to the beat of Asian commands, decide to U-Turn Team AARP. When Team AARP arrive they decide to U-Turn Team AWW80sD (I assume they chose to do this because Team AWW80sD frivolously used their U-Turn powers last week).
If I had the time I’d write a two-thousand word summary of why the female portion of Team B-Average Joe annoys me. In brief, who the fuck U-Turns the second place team just so that they can win one leg of the race?! I’m as competitive as the next guy, but this bitch makes me look like a pacifist. It’s one goddamn leg, which she didn’t figure out was not the last goddamn leg of the race! Bitch.
From the windmill the teams had to drive themselves to the Pitstop. This week we got a heavy dose of the “CBS Editor Reality Distortion Field” as it sure looked like Team I’m Sorry, Who Are You? had screwed the pooch, but no they apparently finished far ahead of Team AWW80sD, who once again got lost while going somewhere (I’m sorry, I thought these men were world navigators), were eliminated.
TAR Game Update
- Yours Truly: Team B-Average Joe (have I mentioned how much she annoys me?)
- ITP-Reader Terri: Team I’m Sorry, Who Are You? (aka “The Divorcees”)
- ITP-Reader Stacy: Team What Would Jesus Dude!
- ITP-Reader Betsy: Team Around the World With 80s Dad
WE HAVE A WINNER! (and that winner is not me) In fact, it’s a damn good thing that we didn’t adopt the “If the team you pick to get eliminated comes in first you are assessed a double penalty” rule that I’ve proposed.
It’s like BetsyFest has started early! Betsy, as this week’s winner you get to assign the rest of us one song that we must purchase from the iTunes store prior to next week’s show. And, with the honor of picking correctly you also get to pick first next week.
Okay, time to write the code….