I stayed awake as long as I could yesterday, but the beer and the heat beat me by 7pm. Once back in my warm room I fell asleep and was up again by 10:00pm. [update: it’s now 12:10am and I am still wide awake and trying to figure out what’s next.]
I Didn’t Do It
While I had success, in a lot of ways I was a huge failure yesterday.
I didn’t eat an traditional German food.
My plan to stay in a funky local hotel (or in the house of an AirBnB host) fell through when I had no internet.
I only had one German beer, and that was something I could drink in the States. The other two beer were Irish beers. (keep reading)
One semi-victory I had (at least I think I had) was calling AT&T and getting the $200(!) (apparently the charge for international data usage is $20/MB(!)) and getting those charges reduce to $30 by signing up for their International Data Plan.
Supposedly after thirty days this subscription gets automatically cancelled.
I (almost) Did It
After securing my air-conditioner-less hotel I walked around Frankfurt looking for traditional bars. I walked up and down three major streets (about seven blocks on each one) looking for some, to no avail. I stopped at two hotels and requested help and they each pointed me toward O’Reilly’s, an Irish pub (hey, at least they speak a form of English!), the place I finally wound up having dinner.
Mein Gott! (My God!)
Finally, I passed a “beer and pretzel” bar and ducked it.
Me: “Sprechen Sie English? Mein Deutsche ist bad” (“Do you speak English? My German is bad [side note: I was supposed to say “‘schlect’ instead of ‘bad’])
Bartender: “Am bischen” (“A little”)
Me “Okay, Haben Sie ein Bier Menu?” (“Okay, do you have a beer menu?”)
(a menu was handed to me)
Me: “Ein Paulaner Export, halb liter bitte.” (“A Paulaner Export, half liter please”)
While I was was there a transvestite with a new boob job came in — seriously, I can’t make this shit up — and I picked up part of the conversation.
Finally I finished my beer and asked to pay, in German.
I was nearly proud of myself.
That beer I ordered.
I DID IT!
With my unwashed hair and a swagger that I get I big cities (don’t laugh, it’s true) I was feeling pretty German. And then it happened…
“Entshuldegen. Entshuldegen. KÃ¶nnen Sie Deusche sprechen?” (“Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you speak German?”) said the female voice approaching me.
Sadly I had to reply “No.” because I knew I was headed down a slippery slope.
But it happened! Someone thought that I was German! Which I technically am since my father’s lineage derived from Germany.
Of course all of the people begging for money immediately spotted me as a tourist, and I didn’t even need to have my camera out to have that happen.
Will I Do It?
With no break in the heat until Sunday I am contemplating moving on to another (smaller) town, and seek out a hotel with air conditioning.
Paulie [eatl/ga/us] in [fra/de]