Rain And Snow, The Joke’s On Me

“What Was I Thinking?!?” That was the common theme of this weekend. If I asked myself that once, I asked it a thousand times.

Suches Life
On Saturday morning I rode up to Suches, Georgia to do the inaugural ALS Mountain Mania Ride. The Weather Channel predicted cloudy and windy conditions with temperatures in mid-forties and windchills in the mid-thirties. BRRRR!!! I packed accordingly. What the Weather Channel never mentioned was snow which would melt making everthing wet as well! FUCKING BRRRR!!!

Now, I am far from the most sane individual you’ll meet, and with about fifty or so likeminded half-minds I started out on the planned fifty mile ride.

The first time I lost feeling in my toes I realized that my journey was that of a fool’s. That was at mile fifteen. But I was there to ride fifty miles dammit!

When we all pulled into a gas station around mile twenty-eight and the bubbas who were there started laughing at us for being out in the snow/rain I realized that they were smarter than me. One of them saw the income potential in our stupidy and offered to give us a ride back to the start in his cattle trailer for a mere $200. Had I packed any money (why didn’t I?) I would have paid him in full. But I was there to ride fifty miles dammit! So, I put some baggies on my feet in hopes to ward off frostbite and returned to the saddle.

At mile twenty-nine my quadriceps started to cramp, something to do with the transition from cold to warm to cold again I think. Food and drink were my “remedy” and I continued onward. The cramps were gone by mile thirty-one.

At mile thirty-two an angel appeared in the form of my friend Kat in a car that had a bike rack. It was at that point that I saw my friend get off his bike and I asked him “Are you quitting?”. No sooner did the word “yes” escape his mouth when I jumped off my bike as well. I thought “But I am here to ride fifty miles dammit!” and then realized that this was the one time I should use that sliver of sanity I possess and give up.

Yes Virginia, it can snow in Georgia in April. I have friends who have pictures to prove it.

Ack Ack A Dack Worth
Sunday’s sunny weather surely meant that all would be better in the world. An early morning (sleep minus one hour thanks to Daylight Savings Time) six-mile run followed by breakfast and beer was just what the doctor ordered.

Unfortunately my Sunday morning compadres are also hashers, including the half-wit I rode thirty-two miles with the day before. With a minor tug at my manhood they guilted me into going to Ackworth, Georgia to run the hash. Have I mentioned that I am not too bright?

I knew what I was getting into; at least I thought I did. With last week’s rain timid creeks now needed to be swam. Did you know that the water temperature in April is still quite cold? I found out not once, but three times! Elaine, do women know about Shrinkage?

More Ticketmaster Grumbling
The ticket I just bought to see Bright Eyes and The Faint at Earthlink Live cost $36.10. The “ticket” cost $25.00, the other $11.10, or 44% of the ticket price, was for “Convenience Charge” ($7.60) and “Order Processing Fee” ($3.50). This is just fucking nuts!

It’s a pity that my insurance no longer pays for psychiatric care…

And now for some ideas stolen from LiveJournal…
Current Mood – worn out, dim-witted, in the dumps
Current Music – Sirius Satellite Radio, Channel 26 playing Ween — “Transdermal Celebration”
Website Of The DayNational Association of Psychiatric Health Systems

Cheers!
Paulie [eatl/ga]

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6 Responses to Rain And Snow, The Joke’s On Me

  1. ME says:

    By the time I got to that same gas station, the cattle trailer ride had come down to $100.00. Damn straight I was on it! We had 12 folks on board, with bikes, wrapped up in tarps to keep the wind of of us. Believe me, going OVER Wolf Pen in the back of a cattle trailer, which has NOT been washed out recently, holding on to 11 folks you do not know from Adam, is one experience you’ll never forget!
    …sarah

  2. sartin says:

    By the time I got to that same gas station, the cattle trailer ride had come down to $100.00. Damn straight I was on it! We had 12 folks on board, with bikes, wrapped up in tarps to keep the wind of of us. Believe me, going OVER Wolf Pen in the back of a cattle trailer, which has NOT been washed out recently, holding on to 11 folks you do not know from Adam, is one experience you’ll never forget!
    …sarah

  3. Paulie says:

    If I had the money available I would have been joining you for the ride. Even without the cattle trailer I had an experience that I will never forget. 🙂

  4. ME says:

    Next time, beg for mercy! I had no cash on me, but did pay at the end. They were just a couple of nice country guys and really felt sorry for us. I didn’t have any problem with him charging for the ride with the cost of fuel this days and him pulling that long trailer over Wolf Pen. And they were really concerned about us, especially since we were all soaked through and shivering. What a ride that was!

  5. sartin says:

    Next time, beg for mercy! I had no cash on me, but did pay at the end. They were just a couple of nice country guys and really felt sorry for us. I didn’t have any problem with him charging for the ride with the cost of fuel this days and him pulling that long trailer over Wolf Pen. And they were really concerned about us, especially since we were all soaked through and shivering. What a ride that was!

  6. Lindsay says:

    We need pictures of people and bikes in the cattle trailer.

    ps – Nice blog btw.

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