Well, I spent a week trying to convince myself that it wasn’t over. But it’s over.
This will not be the story of a near perfect weekend.
On Friday I cycled in the dank, cold, and windy weather with Bonnie and Tammy. We met at Windy Hill, rode the river to mountain path to Kennesaw Mountain, and then the three of us rode to the top! On the way back from Kennesaw we stopped at Glover Park Brewing for a couple of beers before riding the rest of the way back. Thirty-eight miles done and back at the cars we huddled under blankets while having another beer. Before we knew it, it was 7pm. So the three of us went for pizza. It was miserable but magical, as if the previous five days of anguish were simply a bad dream.
And then, Saturday. Reality returned. After hashing and roller derby plans fell through I had nothing to do. I needed to get out of the house so I went to check the tree that I helped Bonnie plant with Trees Atlanta in 2019; it is “our” tree. The tree is on the Westside, so it being around noon I decided to do some day drinking on my way toward home. Two beers and a sandwich at Elliott Street Pub. Drive home, no need to add a DUI to my life. Walk to East Atlanta Village. Two beers at Midway Pub. One beer at Sabbath Brewing. Two beers at Flat Iron. Two beers at The EARL. All in about three hours. I returned home and bawled my eyes out on the kitchen floor before moving to the bathroom, where I awoke a few hours later as I vomited on the floor. After cleaning up my mess I went to bed. When I awoke again at midnight I was sober, scared, lonely, and remorseful.
I drove myself up to Buford, not Suwannee, yesterday for the hash. After getting lost driving to the start I had to call Bonnie, who was already there, for directions. Apparently I must have picked the wrong address in Maps and had gotten myself into a “can’t get there from here” situation. I was running late! Upon my arrival Sal came up to me and broke the news to me that Benny, one of the BRAG/STU gang, died suddenly during the week. I was already on the brink of crying before hearing of this. I turned, walked away, and started to cry for the second time in as many days. Prior to Saturday I couldn’t tell you the last time I cried. (I bet it’s noted in this blog) Unlike Friday it was a beautiful weather day. The hash was well marked and a good workout, but I had no desire to hang around for the on after so I drove home immediately after circle broke up. Wee Little Bit’s 199th Black Sheep Hash is in the books. I must keep the hash as my happy space, even if it’s not currently. My 200th Black Sheep will either occur in two weeks, or more likely in four weeks, since two Sundays from now will be the last day of Spring Tune Up.
Last night I started watching an Amazon series called “The Outlaws”. It could be an interesting premise, even if it is getting lukewarm reviews.
I have begun my healing process by reaching out to talk to some friends who are not as connected to certain social circles. I don’t know how much I wish to divulge otherwise, certainly no more details will appear here, assuming I have not said too much already.
This morning I am going to bring some coffee over to Betsy since we didn’t get to do our weekly walk on Saturday. She was camping this weekend, so I want to hear about that, and I want, no need, to experience some unwavering love from Bella.
This afternoon I am planning on going for a hike with Davey who will be reccying for a Pinelake trail.
The Moonlite hash is in Tucker tonight. I will most likely attend, if for no other reason than to promote my “Wee Is Risen” trail a week from tonight.
Your weekend was almost certainly better. Be happy, stay healthy, and please return tomorrow for a recount of a better day in my life.
At the time of publishing I have not yet played today’s Wordle. I will post my result in the comments today.